Breakups can feel like carrying a heavy backpack of emotions that’s hard to put down—but don’t stress, you’ve got this!** It’s normal to feel sad and overwhelmed, but falling into unhealthy habits can make things even tougher. The aftermath of a breakup is challenging, but smart choices are the key to bouncing back stronger.
Let’s talk about what not to do after a breakup so you can avoid common pitfalls, focus on healing, and create space for growth. Think of this as your guide to shedding that emotional weight and finding your way back to happiness and confidence.
What Not To Do After A Breakup: Essential Guidelines
1-Set Clear Boundaries with Your Ex:
After a breakup, boundaries are a must to help you heal and move forward. Setting clear rules about communication, socializing, and co-parenting (if kids are involved) with your ex can make things much easier.
Start with honest conversations. Decide how often you’ll talk, what topics are okay, and what’s off-limits. If you have mutual friends, figure out how to handle shared events or situations with new partners to keep things drama-free and respectful.
If you’re co-parenting, boundaries are even more important. Create a plan for sharing responsibilities, how you’ll communicate about the kids, and any limits to keep things smooth. This keeps your child happy while giving both of you the necessary space.
Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable initially, but it’s worth it. Clear, respectful rules help you avoid misunderstandings, reduce emotional stress, and give you both the chance to focus on moving on.
Related: 7 Tips for Saying No Effectively
2-No Social Media Stalking:
Checking your ex’s Instagram to see if they’ve moved on? That’s a recipe for more heartache! It’s like constantly reopening a wound that’s trying to heal.
Breakups can leave you feeling vulnerable, and social media can either help or hurt your healing. Scrolling through your ex’s profiles might seem tempting, but constant digital stalking only reopens wounds and slows your recovery. So, Save yourself the pain—unfollow, mute, or block if you need to. Out of sight, out of mind, and closer to feeling better!
3-Let Go of Bitterness:
Feeling angry after a breakup is normal, but seeking revenge or badmouthing your ex only adds to the pain and slows your healing. Acting out of spite might feel satisfying for a moment, but it keeps you stuck in negativity. Instead, focus on forgiving both yourself and your ex, and find healthier ways to channel your emotions—like exercising, journaling, or talking to a close friend. Letting go of bitterness helps you move forward and feel lighter.
4-Don’t Jump Into a New Relationship:
Jumping into a new relationship right after a breakup might seem like a quick fix, but it’s not the best idea. Rebound relationships are often just Band-Aids for a broken heart and can stop you from truly healing. Take the time to process your emotions, learn from the breakup, and focus on rediscovering yourself before diving into something new. Giving yourself space to grow will help you figure out what you really want and build a stronger foundation for the future.
Related: Understanding Complicated Relationships: 15 Signs & 8 Causes
5-Stop the “Why?” Spiral:
One of the biggest mistakes after a breakup is repeatedly texting your ex asking, ‘Why?’ While it’s totally normal to seek answers, bombarding them with messages won’t give you the closure you need. This is exactly what not to do after a breakup. It’s like trying to heal a wound by poking it—it only makes things worse. Instead, give yourself space to heal, focus on your own growth, and let the answers come naturally with time.
6-Don’t Ignore Your Emotions, “Let Yourself Feel”:
After a breakup, it’s totally normal to feel all sorts of emotions—sad, angry, or confused. But don’t try to bottle it all up. If you ignore your feelings, they can build up and make things harder later. It’s okay to cry, vent to a friend, or even write down what you’re feeling. If you’re super angry, try something physical like punching a pillow or going for a run. The more you let yourself feel, the faster you’ll heal. Remember, it’s all part of getting through it!
Related: The 8 stages of a breakup
7-Don’t Overindulge in Alcohol or Substances:
After a breakup, it might feel tempting to drink or use substances to numb the pain. But this isn’t a healthy way to process your emotions. While it might seem like a quick fix, overindulging can actually make you feel worse and delay your healing. It can cloud your judgment, make you feel more lonely, and prevent you from moving on. Instead, focus on healthier ways to cope, like exercising, journaling, meditating, or spending time with friends who support and uplift you. These positive activities will help you feel better, heal faster, and regain control of your life.
8-Don’t Rush Into Major Decisions:
To get over a breakup, it’s important not to rush into major life decisions like quitting your job or moving away. Take some time to heal and reflect before making any big choices, as your emotions might be clouding your judgment. It’s also crucial not to overload yourself with distractions to avoid thinking about your ex. While staying busy can help, make sure you leave room to process your emotions. Finding balance is key—don’t ignore your feelings, but give yourself the time and space to heal properly before making any big decisions.
9-Don’t Try to Stay “Friends” Right Away:
Don’t rush into staying “friends” with your ex right after a breakup—it’s like trying to run a marathon with a sprained ankle. You need time to heal and process your emotions before you can interact without old feelings or pain resurfacing. Giving yourself space is crucial for recovery and helps set the foundation for healthier interactions in the future, if and when you’re ready.
10-Don’t Hold onto Mementos:
When it comes to What Not To Do After A Breakup, holding onto mementos from your ex tops the list. Those letters, gifts, or photos might feel comforting, but they can keep you stuck in the past. Think of it like trying to clean a wound but constantly reopening it—healing becomes impossible. Instead, consider packing those reminders away or letting them go entirely when you’re ready. It’s a tough step, but it’s essential for moving forward and creating space for new beginnings.
Related: 24 Powerful Techniques For Letting Go Of The Past
11-Don’t Forget Self-Care:
When you’re trying to get over a breakup, self-care is essential, not optional. Prioritize activities that make you feel good, whether it’s a relaxing bubble bath, reading your favorite book, or trying out yoga. Be as kind to yourself as you would be to your best friend—because you deserve it.
Related➡ “Printable Self-care Planner- in 3 sizes – 10 Pages+Cover“
Related: 9 Types of Self Care Everyone Needs to Practice
12-Don’t Isolate Yourself:
After a breakup, it’s tempting to hide away and avoid the world, but being alone too much can make things harder. Reach out to your best friend, join a club, or hang out with supportive people who lift you up. Socializing, even if it’s just a little, can help you feel better and heal faster.
13-Say No to Emotionally Overeating (Or Not Eating):
After a breakup, it’s easy to feel drained and unmotivated, but taking care of your body is key to feeling better emotionally. Make sure you’re eating well, staying active, and getting enough sleep—your physical health plays a big role in your recovery. While it’s okay to indulge in comfort food every now and then, don’t rely on it as your main way of coping. At the same time, avoid skipping meals because of sadness. Your body needs fuel to heal, so try to maintain a healthy balance and give yourself the care you deserve.
Related: 10 Ways to Stop Emotional Eating And Be Mindful Of Your Diet
14-Don’t neglect your routine:
Don’t neglect your routine after a breakup. While it might be tempting to stay up all night binge-watching shows or skip work, doing so can make you feel worse. Sticking to your regular routine—whether it’s getting up at the same time, going to work or school, or keeping up with hobbies—helps create a sense of stability. It keeps your mind occupied and your life on track as you heal.
Related: How to Have a Good Morning Routine: 13 Powerful habits
Related: How To Create a Productive Evening Routine: 12 Steps
15-Don’t idealize the relationship:
It’s natural to look back and think everything was perfect, but every relationship has its flaws. Focusing only on the good can make it harder to move on. Remembering both the highs and lows will help you see things more realistically and give you the clarity needed to heal and grow.
16-Avoid Overthinking “What Ifs”:
When figuring out What Not To Do After A Breakup, avoid getting stuck in the “What ifs.” Thinking about what could have happened, like “What if I did this differently?” or “What if I said that?” won’t change the outcome. It’s like re-reading the same page in a book over and over, hoping for a new ending—it doesn’t work. Instead, focus on what you can do now to heal and move forward.
Related: 15 Tips To Stop Overthinking
17-Don’t Compare Your Ex to Future Partners:
When you start meeting new people after a breakup, avoid comparing them to your ex. Each person is different and deserves a chance without being measured against someone from your past. Focus on getting to know them for who they are, not who they remind you of.
18-Avoid Setting Unrealistic Timelines for Healing:
Healing takes time, and it’s crucial to be patient with the process. Don’t pressure yourself to “get over it” by a certain date. Focus on taking it day by day and allow yourself the time you need to truly heal.
But If you’re struggling to cope with your breakup, don’t hesitate to talk to a therapist or counselor. There’s no shame in seeking support—professionals can help guide you through the healing process and manage your emotions in a healthy, constructive way.
Related: How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup
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Conclusion:
In conclusion, getting over a breakup can be challenging, but avoiding these 18 common mistakes will help you heal faster and move forward healthily. Remember What Not To Do After A Breakup, take care of yourself, and give yourself time to heal. With time, you’ll become stronger, wiser, and ready for what’s next.
