After a breakup, it’s completely normal to wonder, “How long will this pain last?” or “When will I start feeling like myself again?” The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Healing is deeply personal, and everyone moves on at their own pace.

Some breakups might take longer to recover from, especially if the relationship was meaningful, long-term, or unexpectedly ended. The process is influenced by your emotions, experiences, and how you choose to navigate the journey.

In this article, we’ll dive into the question, “How long does it take to get over a breakup?” while exploring the factors that affect healing and common mistakes to avoid.
Remember, there’s no “right” way to move forward. Take it one step at a time, and trust that you’ll find your way to brighter days.

Why Does It Take Time to Heal After a Breakup?

Breakups hurt not just emotionally but also physically, and there’s a scientific reason for that. When you’re in a relationship, your brain releases feel-good chemicals like oxytocin (the “bonding hormone”) and dopamine (the “pleasure hormone”). These chemicals make you feel happy and connected.

But when a relationship ends, your brain experiences withdrawal—similar to coming off a drug. This sudden drop in those “happy” chemicals can leave you feeling sad, anxious, or even physically unwell. It takes time for your brain to adjust and for these feel-good chemicals to find their balance again.

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How Does the Brain Process a Breakup?

During a breakup, our brain goes through a grieving process similar to when we experience a loss. The amygdala, which controls our emotions, becomes highly active, making us feel intense emotions like sadness, anger, and fear. On the other hand, the prefrontal cortex, which helps us think logically and make decisions, becomes less active, making it harder to process our emotions and figure out what to do next. This explains why it can be so difficult to make sense of what you’re feeling or to move on right away. Over time, your brain will calm down, things will start to feel more manageable, and you’ll start feeling better and thinking more clearly.

Related: The 8 stages of a breakup

How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup: Realistic Timelines

The time it takes to heal after a breakup is unique to each person. While some people may start feeling better in a few weeks, it can take others much longer.
A study in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that, on average, people begin to feel better after three months. However, the length and intensity of the relationship, how deeply you were attached, and how you cope with the pain can all impact how long it takes to heal. It’s important to remember that healing is a personal journey, and there’s no set timeline for everyone.

Here’s a general idea of how long recovery might take:

Remember, these are just estimates, and everyone’s healing timeline is different. The depth of your attachment, the support system you have, and how you process the breakup all play a role in how long it takes.
So, be kind to yourself. Take things at your own pace, reach out for support when you need it, and trust that healing will come—maybe slower than you’d like, but it will come.

Factors That Influence Recovery Duration:

1-The Length and Depth of the Relationship:

The longer and more meaningful the relationship, the longer it may take to heal. A short-term relationship might take just a few weeks or months to get over, but if the relationship is long-term or deeply emotional, recovery can take much longer—sometimes even a year or more.
The stronger the attachment, the more time it can take to process the loss and move forward.

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2-Intensity of the breakup:

The way the relationship ended can significantly affect the healing process. If the breakup was mutual and both of you parted on good terms, it may be easier to heal and move on. However, if it ended unexpectedly, involved betrayal, or left unresolved feelings, recovery can take longer.

3-Personality and Coping Style:

How you handle emotions plays a big part in how quickly you recover. People who are resilient or have healthy coping strategies tend to heal faster. They can process their feelings and move through the pain more effectively. On the other hand, those who struggle to express emotions or tend to avoid them might take longer to heal, as avoiding the pain can delay the recovery process.

4-Level of Dependency in the Relationship:

If you were really dependent on your partner emotionally, financially, or physically, it might be harder to adjust after the breakup. The more you rely on them for support or company, the tougher it can be to get back to being on your own.
It takes time to rebuild your independence, but it’s an important part of healing and finding yourself again.

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5-Mental Health Status:

If you already deal with things like anxiety or depression, a breakup can make those feelings even stronger. It might take longer to heal because those emotions can make the pain of the breakup feel more intense. Taking care of your mental health during this time is really important and can help speed up the healing process.

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6-Timing of the Breakup:

If the breakup happens during a stressful time, like moving to a new place or starting a new job, it can make things feel even harder. When you’re already going through a lot, the pain of a breakup can feel more overwhelming.

7-Support System:

Having a good support system is super important. Friends, family, or even a therapist can make the healing process a lot easier by offering comfort, and encouragement, and helping you see things from a different angle.

8-Self-care Practices:

Taking care of yourself is really important while you’re healing. Doing things that make you feel good—like exercising, meditating, journaling, or anything else you enjoy—can help you feel stronger and move on quicker. It’s all about showing yourself love and kindness during tough times.

Related: 9 Types of Self Care Everyone Needs to Practice

Common Mistakes That Delay Healing:

When you’re working through a breakup, it’s important to steer clear of certain mistakes that can make it harder to heal. These actions can really slow things down, leaving you wondering, “How long does it take to get over a breakup?” By avoiding these missteps, you can give yourself the best chance to heal and move forward.

1-Rushing Into New Relationships:

It might feel like starting a new relationship will help you get over the breakup, but it usually doesn’t bring true happiness. It’s important to take time to heal, reflect on what happened, and focus on yourself before jumping into something new. Rushing into another relationship can just lead to more hurt and stop you from growing and learning from the experience.

2-Stalking Your Ex Online:

In today’s world, it’s tempting to check up on your ex’s social media. But doing so can actually make the healing process harder. It often brings back painful memories and slows down your ability to move on.

3-Ignoring Your Emotions:

Pretending you’re fine or pushing your feelings aside can make things worse in the long run. It’s important to let yourself feel and work through your emotions. Bottling them up can lead to stress and other emotional challenges later on.

Take time to understand your feelings and express them in healthy ways

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How to Get Over a Breakup: 15 Steps to Heal and Move On

Conclusion:

To wrap it up, How Long Does It Take to Get Over a Breakup can vary a lot from person to person, depending on your unique situation and the relationship itself. It’s important to give yourself the time you need to heal, work through your emotions, and move forward at your own speed. Don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help if you’re having a tough time handling the aftermath. With time, patience, self-care, and support from those who care about you, you’ll eventually find peace and happiness again.